Keeping calm

We all experience a wide range of emotions in the workplace. At different times we feel angry, disrespected, sad, enraged, rejected, hurt, hopeless and/or betrayed. When you are dealing with a work-related issue and your best judgment along with your reasoning and evaluative processes become clouded, dismantled or hijacked by your emotions, the choice and/or action you take may not be the one you wanted.

There is a process and means by which you can use and reflect on to help you make non-sabotaging, emotion-free workplace choices. Here are some suggestions to accomplish this:
 

1. First and foremost, do not make an important decision or choice when you are overcome by emotions. Always stop, cool down, and “take the pause that refreshes.” Additionally, do not opt for an immediate, emotional quick fix, response or retaliation. Oftentimes, we opt for these short-term satisfactions, but in the big picture, these unthinking, emotion-generated reactions are highly detrimental to accomplishing what we truly want for our careers in the long term.

2. Always strategically identify what you truly want in and from the choice you’re going to make. This means that you must know what you truly value the very most before you make your choice. This way, you will make a well-thought-out choice that reflects and effects your most treasured values and goals.

3. If talking to a colleague or superior can enable you to effect a positive resolution to the issue at hand, make sure that the timing and setting are right, so that what you say is well-received and resonates with that individual. There is always a time and place for everything. The key when trying to make the most beneficial life choice possible is to astutely intuit what the right time, place and context is to take a particular action.

4. Be consequence cognizant. Carefully think about and vividly visualize two things. One, the most severe and heinous consequences that a poor/destructive, emotionally charged choice on your part can have on your career, your life and those you love. And two, the most positive, beneficial outcome(s) that you will secure because you took the requisite time to strategically choose the most constructive course of action.

5. If it is appropriate, try to truly understand where the other individual who is pushing your emotional buttons is coming from. Strive to see things from their viewpoint. Chat with the person in issue, in an open and non-defensive manner. Oftentimes, learning where others are coming from brings understanding, as well as sympathy/empathy, which can diffuse and thereby lessen the energy charges generated by potentially toxic emotions.

6. Another means to diffuse your emotion-generated energy charges is to take a moment to think about all of the blessings and positives in your life/job/career. This can help you to cool down from the angst of the moment, so that you are then better able to think clearly and strategically.

7. You should avoid making important workplace choices when you are tired, experiencing high levels of stress or have had too much caffeine. Additionally, you never want to make important choices when you are under the influence of alcohol or clarity-impairing medicinal or recreational drugs. Your goal is to be cognitively clear and precise when making work-related choices. Therefore, you want to stay away from anything that can impair your cognitive processes.

There will be times when you will experience potentially toxic emotions in the workplace. I use the word “potentially,” because these emotions are only toxic to you and your career if they trigger destructive and/or self-sabotaging acts on your part. What you want to do is not emotionally react in these situations, but instead, strategically and constructively choose your actions. Channel the potential negative energies that you experience into positive, career-enhancing endeavors — thereby using your emotions and their energy charges as your valuable allies. The sweet result may well be that you will attain career gold as well as gain (increased) feelings of high self-esteem, self-worth, and the core confidence to achieve your most cherished goals.

Lindner is the author of “Your Killer Emotions: The 7 Steps to Mastering the Toxic Emotions, Urges, and Impulses That Sabotage You.” He owns and operates the news and hosting representation firm, Ken Lindner and Associates Inc. For more, visit www.yourkilleremotions.com and www.kenlindner.com